Friday, November 24, 2006

Bambi's Mom Deserved to Die

Let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time, an animated mommy deer was bounding through an animated forest. I don't know what she was doing because its been more than a decade since I last saw this story. Then something happened that this mommy deer didn't expect... she was shot by a hunter. This left this deer's son noticably upset. Initially, I felt sympathy for this young deer, despite the fact that the thing didn't exist except on screen. More recently, I've had a change of heart.

Let me tell you why...

I believe you are all familiar with the saying, "you'll understand when you're older". At least I am; this answer was more common than an actual answer in my childhood. It perturbed me to no end. But now I understand that the world is much more complicated than I originally perceived.

For example, let's say that the hunter that shot Bambi's mommy was otherwise engaged in a debate with the wonderful people over at PETA concerning the necessity of pointing a high-velocity projectile weapon at an unsuspecting animal, forcing him to skip on hunting that morning. Instead, mommy survives. And as she is foraging through the field, she gets her fill of the remains of the crops of a good, hardworking Iowa farmer (crops she didn't plant by the way, we call that theft or gleaming as its referred to in Ruth).

She passes the day being a lazy, useless creature, going from field to field, doing nothing other than theiving. As night approaches, she remember's her young child that she had left earlier that day and begins the trek to find him. As she goes along, she eventually goes from being animated to being an actual, real-life deer.

Night has come upon our mother deer, newly brought into the physical plane and she comes upon a road. This road's name is Hwy 60. She feels like crossing this road. She also has a brain the size of a kiwi.

She successfully navigates the first half of the highway, making it to the median, though the next half will prove to be a bit more tricky. She notices that a light source is quickly approaching that shows that nothing is in the road to obstruct her passage. However, what her kiwi-sized brain neglects to pick up is that the light source has substance behind it.

Perhaps by now you can see where this is going...

So Bambi's mommy decided to cross two seconds too soon and tried to high jump my Grand Am... she missed. Instead, she left a lasting impression upon my car. Such impressions tend to total cars. Such was the case with my incident. So I no longer have the car that I enjoyed so much. In fact, I no longer have any car.

All this could have been avoided had Bambi's mommy would have just gone the way of the dodo bird.

"I blame it on the rain, yeah yeah."


Song of the Week: "My Father's Gun", Elton John

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Electric Fetus, Amos Lee, & Will Farrell

If my life were a guitar string, then Saturday morning began out of tune... I think it was a B flat but I can't be sure. I woke up not feeling the greatest. It was at this point I reasoned that Iowa was not going to beat Minnesota in the last football game of the season... a game I was supposed to go to. So instead of watching the depressing game, I decided to plow some of season 3 Arrested Development (thanks Wes). Out of tune guitar strings are painful to my ears.

But like any out-of-tune guitar string, one needs only to tune it for the pain to go away. This tuning, for me, came in the form of a phone call from my former roommate, Will, who brought exciting news. You see, for the past month or so, I had been aware of a concert involving one of my favorite artists, Amos Lee. The bummer with his coming was that the concert had already sold out by the time I was aware of it. The upside of it was that he was also going to be playing a short set at a local record store, the Electric Fetus (not just a cleaver headline). And the best part is that the event was not widely publicized, effectively limiting the number of attendees, not to mention the thing being free! O Glory be, I got to see Amos for free!

I've been to a number of concerts in my days. It was simply what I did as a younger man. And I have to say that few things top an intimate performance such as the one I experienced on Saturday. A well produced show may effectively mask the iniquities of a performance; not so when simply a man and guitar. One is able to experience the flaws of live performance, yes. However, one is also able to hear the songs as the artist hears them and plays them and probably wrote them.

Not to mention that I was close enough to get a sweet background for my phone.

From there, we ended up going to the new Will Farrell movie, Stranger than Fiction. Not a bad movie. Had its moments. Check it out if you got the coin.

"You sent me singin' through the woods",


Song of the Week: "Colors" by Amos Lee ...come on, you knew it was coming.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Disc Golf Tips

So, I continually tell Diggs that I have no time to post. While this remains true I will do my best. Here's a vidoe clip I found on youtube. His advice on the power grip is good but he's throwing from the waist and is not using the "J" . It goes to show you; don't trust everything you hear on youtube.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Global Warming: Keeping the Season Alive, One Chlorofluorocarbon at a Time

The weather is a tempramental little beast, though I am unconvinced this has always been the case. When I was a child, the summers were gloriously hot, the winters were blastedly cold, and spring and fall were always gradually heading towards a respective extreme.

These days, weather and life are much more complex.

I remember driving home for spring break a couple years ago not being able to see the ditches for much of the journey due to the blizzard (and again, Pappy, I'm sorry I took you home in that crap). And I remember dressing my campers with winter wear in August because otherwise they couldn't feel their phlanges. Similarly, the past two years have allowed me to disc golf into November without having to bundle up (this is an oddity in Minnesota). I believe it will come as no surprise to any of you that I have made formal requests to those in charge of such things to keep the cold where it bloody-well belongs. The warmth into the winter I am a bit more hesitant about, but shall suggest, for the sake of congruity, that the weather patterns should stick to the aforementioned cycle.

I have my reasons for supporting the cold for the winter season (and it does not have anything to do with a "white Christmas"). For one, I think its sad that the situation is problem enough that Al "I created the internet" Gore could spot it - honestly, this man should be seen and NOT heard! But more personally, I find the whole thing screws with my Chi. I honestly have at least 5-7 "last rounds" of the season every year and I can't take it! And I have much invested in last rounds. You see, if one is given a blessed day in November, as Wednesday was this last week, one must play. They are (and if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times) moral imperitives. Not going discing during these times is harder to justify than the Department of Homeland Security.

And so I go on many many last rounds now-a-days. Based solely on playing disc golf, I could count this as one of my virgins in Heaven if I were Muslim, its so good. But there are... complications. I schedule things to begin when discing ends and when it doesn't end til New Years, I must seriously reconsider my scheduling process.

But suffice it to say, now that the official discing season is over (not that we won't go in our coats in two feet of snow), Pap and I have finally started working out. And I'm not going to lie, my silhouette could use it.

"I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert,
but I can live and breathe and see the sun in the wintertime"


Song of the Week (a new addition to the column; check it out):

Ron Sexsmith and Chris Martin, "Gold in Them Hills"

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Sertoma Course Upgrade

Hey friends...
This post is for all those Sioux City cats who scorn Sertoma for her hills, trees, weeds, and all other various hazards that she bears to all those who brave her slopes. I have news...The Back Three, infamous for their tall grass, known to swallow short elephants, not to mention all manner of discs, have been dramatically altered. I would say that the parks department, or an angel, mowed about 40-50% of the total area around The Back Three. They also planted a bunch of small pine trees where they trimmed the wheat field, dramatically improving the course!!!! You all would smile to see the change...I think I nearly cried when I saw it. Pictures will follow.

As for what you would find in my bag....

1 very understable Valkerie
1 Beast (this has slowly become my favorite driver for forehand or backhand shots)
1 Pro Teebird (great all-purpose disc in my view)
1 Archangel (I rarely use this)
1 Champ Eagle (this is for mostly Tomahawk throws, and throws where I need a wicked left-turn)

1 pretty understable Champ Sidewinder (I found this one and it flies really straight)

3 Aviar Putt and Approach Discs
1 Pro Aviar Putt and Approach (This is my favorite)
1 DX Aviar (This is a great long-range putter)

That's about it...keep your stick on the ice...


Saturday, November 04, 2006

Bonus Day in November

I am happy to report that my finals week went well. I accomplished almost everything I set out to do and performed good to quite good on my tests. The papers could have used some revising, but alas, we are given but 24 hours in a day.

...what?... that wasn't finals week?

I suppose this is true, it was not the official "finals week" but I'm not going to lie; I will have less to do on finals week than I did this week.

But despite the impending longevity the nights last night held, I had at least one comfort: the weather was going to be pretty bleeding cold, removing much of the temptation for hitting the chains. The only exception to this weather was Monday. In some quirk of nature, Monday topped out at 65* F while Tuesday only inched towards 35* F. I'm sure this has something to do with global warming, global cooling, El NiƱo ("the boy") or some other such thing because that just isn't natural!

Anyways, a day in late October in which I only needed a t-shirt indicated that I had to go disc golfing. Such things are moral imperitives. I'll let Pappy post on the particulars of the round if he wishes because of the multimedia flare he can add to his presentation. But I must be going. My Hawkeyes are getting beaten by Northwestern (the University, not the College) and I must go rend my garments.

"An Poc Ar Buile"

~ Diggs

p.s. if you're into crazy action flicks, may I suggest you go to and watch the trailer. Pure awesome.