Wednesday, January 24, 2007

And I Shall Name Her...

A couple of months ago, a deer helped me decide to purchase a new car. I did. I now have a '01 Chevy Impala. I like it. I think I'll keep it for awhile. Now that I have decided this, a long-standing tradition must be satisfied. I have, with the cars that have been under my care, given them names. Now, only having gone around the sun but twenty-two times, one may not think this an oft utilized tradition. But let us examine the list thus far:

  • Oldsmobile (its hard to determine with any certainty what exactly the was, but we DO know it was an Oldsmobile) -- affectionately known as Poor White Trash because, well, homeless people have nicer automobiles. I cannot even begin to describe the thing, but I will say that the transmission went out on her within 2 weeks of being given away (that's right, a car given away).
  • the Bonneville (a.k.a. Bonny) was named for obvious reasons. And I also like to be as anthropomorphic as possible when naming my vehicles.
  • the '86? Mustang doesn't count because I drove it for a week at a time when I couldn't drive manuals (giving morning rush hour a new and exciting flavor). However, the provisional name of "Tang" was given by a Mr. Beau Durham... but the name sucked and was just as temporary as the car was for me.
  • '91 Buick Century -- it was grey (sometimes) and was as mechanically sound as the transistor radio I made in 3rd grade. Its name was "Leprosy" because things were always falling off of it (e.g. mufflers) and it spent more time out of commission than operational.
  • '99 Grand Am -- the victim of a Venison Gang drive by, this car was not around long enough to officially be christened during its lifetime, however, post-mortem, we know it only as the "Jeff Buckley Memorial" car because just like the talented singer-songwriter, it died way before its time. We shall miss you.

And now, we shall reveal the name of the most recent addition to my automotive family...

I present to you... "Paula"

If you see her, say "hi". But if you call to her, call her by name.

"How fine ya're ta me!"


Song of the Week: "Rocks" by Ben Jelen


Bryan said...

Hey...Doug...can I take Paula out for a spin this Friday night? I promise to have her back by curfew...

Anonymous said...

Wow Doug- your creativity on this one just amazes me.
(hope the sarcasm translates!) :)